Free Blonde SMS Jokes
Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? A: "Great Tits!!!"
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a blow-up Doll? A: Around 2 cans of hair spray.
Q: Why is a blonde like a stamp? A: Both get licked, then stuck, and finally sent on their way.
Q: Why is a blonde like railway tracks? A: Cos she's been laid all over the country.
Q: What does a blonde say after having multiple orgasms? A: Way to go team.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been playing with your Computer? A: Your joy stick will be soaking wet.
Q: Why do saunas remind some people of blondes? A: Cos both are steamy and wet on entry, and hey, they don't mind if you bring friends.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car? A: She scorched her lips on the exhaust pipe.
Q: What's the difference between a Mosquito and a blonde? A: On slapping a Mosquito, it will stop sucking.
Q: Why is a blonde like a shotgun? A: Give her a cock and she'll be ready to blow.
Q: How would a blond interpret 6.9? A: A 69 interrupted by a period.
Q: What does a blonde look like after sex? A: No idea mate. I'm already long gone....
Q: What's a blondes favorite Nursery Rhyme? A: HumpMe DumpMe.
Why did 18 blondes go to a movie? Because below 18 was not allowed
Two blondes were driving to Tokyo Disneyland when they saw a sign that read, "Tokyo Disneyland Left", so they turned around and went home
Why did the blonde dye her hair red? Instant Intelligence!
Why do blondes drive BMWs? Because they can spell it
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car? A: On the back she saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: What does Star Trek's Dr Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde? A: Space. The final frontier..........
Q: What did the blond do when she missed the 66 Bus? A: She took the 33 bus twice instead.
Q: What is the best secretary in the world to have? A: The one that never misses a period.
Q: What do blondes say after sex? A: "Thanks, guys!".
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and The Titanic? A: They know how many men went down on The Titanic.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Atlantic Coast? A: There's fewer crabs in the Atlantic.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York? A: The Duke only 'had' Ten Thousand men.
Q: How does a horny guy spell relief? A: B-L-O-N-D-E.
Q: Why was the Blonde Girl smiling as she walked down the marriage eisle? A: Cos she knew she'd given her last Blow job.
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? A: Because she got an F in sex.
Q: What do a Boeing 747 and a blonde have in common? A: Both contain a cockpit
Q: Did you hear about the blonde with a PHd in Psychology? A: She'll blow your mind, too.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a limo? A: Well, not everybody's went to town in a limo!
Q: Have you heard about the blonde virgin? A: She hangs out with the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus
Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common? A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had 2 chances to get pregnant? A: She blew it both times.
Q: What did the blondes left leg say to her right? A: As if they've ever met!
Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS? A: A know-it-all bitch.
Q: What do blonde's do after they comb their hair? A: They pull up their pants.
Q: What do blonde's do with their Assholes in the morning? A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.
Q: What's the link between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? A: Both get screwed on the front of a Ford Fiesta.
Q: What nickname is most used by blonde's in order to boost their popularity? A: B.J.
Q: What is blonde, brunette, blond, brunette ...? A: A blonde doing cartwheels.
Q: How do you know when a blonde's been in your refridgerator? A: There's lipstick on your cucumbers/courgette/zuchini.
Q: What's a 68 to a blonde? A: It's where she goes down on you and you owe her one.
Q: What's the white stuff you find in a blonde's panties? A: Clitty litter.
Q: Why is it that Blonde's always get confused in the Ladies rest room? A: Well, it's cost they gotta pull their own pants down...
Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts? A: Because their balls would show.
Q: What do you call a blonde with an I.Q of 100? A: A foursome.
84. Q: What is the difference between a new blonde and an old blonde? A: Vaseline and Poligrip.
85. Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office? A: There's a fold-up bed in the Stock room and permanent smiles on the Bosses' faces.
Q: What is a bellybutton for? A: It gives a blonde a place to park her gum on the way down.
Q: What do you call a blonde with a bag of sugar on her head? A: Sweet fuck all.
Q: Why did the blonde give a b*** job after sex? A: She wanted to have her cock and eat it too.
Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock.
Q: Why did the blonde guy put ice in his condom? A: To keep the swelling down.
Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank? A: Her employer found that she was embezzling.
92. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job? A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.
Q: What is the smartest thing that can come out of a blonde's mouth? A: Einstein's d**k.
Q: What do you call a blonde with pigtails? A: A blow job with handlebars.
Q: What did the blonde say during a xxx flick? A: "Hey fellas, Look! There I am!"
Q: How does a blond prepare for safe sex? A: She puts on rubber based lipstick.98. Q: What does XXX stand for? A: Blondes co-signing a note.
99. Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Finland, turn around and come back home? A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a tv set.
Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and a bowling ball? A: You can only get three of your fingers inside a bowling ball.
Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size? A: Silicone chips.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who attempted to drive to EuroDisney? A: She saw a sign saying: "EuroDisney Left" so she went home.
Did you hear about the blonde who put under Education on her job application, 'Hooked On Phonics'...
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