Sex Facebook Status
I think condoms should come with an extended warranty.
Wish there was a word in the dictionary for: "Your picture led me to believe you were really hot but in real life you were actually butt ugly."
"They" say money and sex is the root of all evil. Well I think "they" are just poor virgins
Did you know that if you flash your boobs to those sweet young Mormon boys they will fall right off their bicycles?
The only thing more awkward than buying condoms would be returning them.
If someone describe something as "better than sex," everything they say from then on is a lie.
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?
Does time fly when you're having sex or was it really just one minute?
According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Is it just me or do mirrors look really sexy?
Taking your bra off at the end of a super long day is quite possibly one of best feelings ever.
If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who really is the dumber sex?
When you go to the drugstore, why are the condoms not in with the other party supplies?
Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise.
Sex on tv can't hurt unless you fall off.
Most women prefer sex with the lights off because they can't bear to see a man enjoying himself.
Friends are like condoms: They protect you when things get hard.
Are you into casual sex, or should I dress up ?
Sex is like software: For every one who pays for it there are hundreds getting it for free.
Fifty-six percent of all women carry condoms. The other 44% carry babies.
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
How can men use sex to get what they want? Sex IS what they want.
There's no way my parents have ever had sex.
Sexy Mode [ON] OFF
Do I need a receipt to bring sexy back?
I could be completely naked and I'd still look less slutty than this girl.
No woman likes a naked man in socks.
Apparently "Get naked." is not the correct response for "Anything else I can do for you today?" from the hot female store clerk.
Sex is like pizza. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, it's still petty good.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Accept it. Your parents HAVE had sex before.
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
It's O.K. to laugh during sex ... just don't point !
During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Silence doesn't mean your sexual performance left her speechless.
A Short Description about youself
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