How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Why do blondes love lightning?
They reckon somebody is taking their photo.
It's with tremendous sadness that I report a local blond girl has lost 95% of her brains....yes, her husband just died.
What's brown, red, black and blue?
A Brunette who's been telling one too many blonde jokes.
NEWSFLASH: Blonde girl fired from Banana plantation for throwing out all the bent ones.
Why couldn't the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes?
She couldn't find the recipe.
She was so blonde that...
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She managed to trip over my cordless phone.
On the bottom of the job application where it said 'Sign Here' she wrote 'Aquarias'.
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She told me to meet her on the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk".
She tried to place a bag of M&M's in alphabetical order.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
She took a ruler to bed so she could see how long she slept.
When she got an AM radio, it took her 10 month to figure out she could use it at night.
She spent 25 minutes staring at the Orange juice box cos it said - "concentrate"
She got stabbed in a Shoot out.
She used to sit on the tv so she could watch the couch.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes were around the home, she moved.
She thinks Eartha Kitt is a set of gardening tools.
When she saw the sign for YMCA she said: "LOOK, they've spelled MACY's wrong!!!"
She stood staring at the frozen orange juice because it said "Concentrate".
She put lippie on her forehead cos her boyfriend told her to make up her mind.
She tried to drown a fish.
If you offered her a Penny for her thoughts, you'd get change.
She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
She took a Spoon to the Super Bowl.
It takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.
She asked for a Price-check at the 'Everythings a Pound' store.
They had to burn her school down to get her outta 4th grade.
She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.
When I was drowning in a lake and screaming out for a life saver she asked: "Grape or Cherry?"
She thought Meow Mix was a record for Cats.
She thought that Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.
She tried to drown a fish.
Q : Why are blonde jokes so short?
A : So men can remember them.
Q : Why do men like blonde jokes so much?
A : Because they can understand them
Q : How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A : Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q : What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A : They're both empty from the neck up
Q : Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A : From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK"
Q : Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A : So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills
Q : What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
A : Far-from-thinking
Q : Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A : They keep breaking them with the hammers.
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She tripped on the cordless phone
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
Q: Did you hear about the blond Bear?
A: Got stuck in a hunter's trap, chewed off it's 2 paws and 1 leg, and was still stuck.
Q: How does a stereotypical blonde spell Farm?
A: E-I-E-I-O.
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 2. 1 to hold the Diet Irn-Bru and the other to call on 'Daddddyyy'
Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.
Q: What did the blonde do when she heard on the news that over 90% of accidents occur at the home?
A: She moved.
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of Sixty?
A: A blonde parade.
Q: Why did the blonde call the job centre?
A: She wanted to find out how to cook food stamps.
Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in 6 or 12 pieces.
A: "Oh, only Six I think - I'd never manage to eat all 12 pieces."
Q: What do you call a Smart blonde?
A: A Golden Retriever.
Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-Air.
Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Cos sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A: Both are completely empty from the neck up.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why are blondes hurt by people's words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Q: How do you drive a blonde Insane?
A: Hide her Hair Dryer.
Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: alone.
Q: How do you know a blonde has robbed your house?
A: You notice the microwave is gone, but a note is there in it's place saying: "Thanks for the TV"
Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)
Q: How do you get a blonde to stay in the shower all day?
A: Lend her your bottle of Shampoo that says "lather, rinse, repeat".
Q: How do you measure their intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in their ear.
It's with great tragedy that I report my blonde next door neighbour tried to kill her toy poodle.
She tried putting batteries in it.
To amuse a Blonde for hours, give her a sheet of paper with 'Please turn over' scribbled on both sides.
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A: Frosted Flakes.
Q: What do you call a blonde holding a brief case, up a tree?
A: The Branch Manager.
Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proof-reading.
A Short Description about youself
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