Coolest and Funniest Facebook Status
That awkward moment, where theres an awkward moment, and everyone knows it`s an awkward moment, then somebody says, "AWWWKKKKWAAARRDD!"
Looking at a painting in a museum and thinking, "PSSH..I could`ve done that!"
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! This is a test this is only a test. If this had been a real emergency I would be running around screaming like a lunatic.
I hate when cashiers ask "Is that everything?" Uh no, I`d also like all this invisible shit...
No matter how old you are, no matter how badass you think you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it.
I`m jealous of my parents, i`ll never have a kid as cool as theirs :)
Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday? Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.
Admit it. ..................................... At some point in time you`ve tried to see if you had superpowers
In a group picture, theres always that retard who does the peace sign..
The Hardest Desicion of Our Childhood: Charmander, Squirtle or Baulbasaur.
"Lets watch a scary movie!" *several hours later* "Dude, walk with me to the bathroom"
"Lets stay up all night!" *2 hours later* screw this! I`m tired.
That awkward moment when you dont know if you should hug someone or not
The awkward moment when you are trying to kill a spider & you lose track of it & then you become a victim in your own home ;)
I wasn`t that Drunk . "Dude, you were caught fishing in the toilet".
Everyone has pretended to die infront their pets to see if they would do anything.
If swimming is an exerciser explain whales to me.
Before talking; Please connect the tongue to the brain!
I’m not clumsy. It’s just that the floor hates me, tables and chairs attack me, and the wall just gets in the way.
``Dude, she just called you disorganized!`` "Oh hell no.. Hold my...oh shit were is it!"
"Dude she just called you irresponsible!" "Oh hell no.. Hold my steering wheel!"
Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes .
My mother always told me if you can`t say anything nice, don`t say anything at all.. and some people wonder why i`m so quiet around them..
I wasnt that Drunk ." Dude we found you trying to seduce a tree."
Girls, at least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture there.
"Sex scene on TV + Parents in same room + No sign of remote = Awkward Atmosphere"
I`m fairly sure that my cute next door neighbor thinks I`m a stalker. She wrote it on Facebook, Twitter, And even in both of her diaries.
Person: You`ve changed. You: Yes.. I can`t help it, I`m a transformer!
Me : Dad, I want to go to a 50 cent concert. Dad: Here is one dollar. Take your sister too. lol
Dear middle school girl who thinks she`s a Victoria`s Secret model, mind if I borrow a tissue? Sincerely, it`s falling out of your bra.
LIKE IF: Yelling ``STAY!`` at a non-living object that keeps falling over as if it`s going to listen to you -_-
Oh really? you need space? join NASA!!!
Dear fourth grader on facebook, How are you in a complicated relationship? What`d he do, steal your animal crackers?
2 girls wearing the same shirt- "That bitch, copied my style".. 2 boys wearing the same shirt- "Brother!! :D"
At 11:59pm Cinderella should have said to the Prince, "I bet you a million bucks I can turn that carriage into a pumpkin."
"Let`s settle this the mature adult way." "Rock paper scissors?" "Yep.."
The Horrible Moment when you sit down & your thighs get 10x bigger.
Dear circle, Do you ever wake up in the morning and realize your life is pointless? Sincerely, square.
"Mom, I’m going out" "With friends?" "No, with people i hate..."
"Can I see your phone?" "Uhh, hang on second" *delete delete delete* "Ok. Sure. Here you go"
Some fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time..." Others begin with "If elected, I promise..."
I don`t care how old I am. It`s the fu*king ice cream truck were talking about.
Deleting one `ha` from your `Hahahahaha` cause you think it`s a bit TOO much..
Dude, you were so drunk you kept falling over... No I wasn`t. I was breakdancing!
That awkward moment when you take a nap & wake up the next day.
Here, let me tie your shoelaces so you won`t fall for anyone else ♥
Old meaning of sorry. "I won`t do it again." New meaning of sorry. "Damn I got caught, next time I need to be more careful."
The Awkward Moment when you keep Posting Statuses For your New Crush.. and..... and..... your EX Keep Liking It :D
That awkward moment when you realize you’ve been pronouncing a word wrong your whole life
"Omg! Did you fall?!" "no. The ground just came up and banged my face!!"
"BE YOURSELF!" is about the worst advice you can give to some people.
That awkward moment. When you`re yelling at someone and you mess up a word.
Oh a spider. You are tiny. I am a great big person. I am a grown up. I can handle this. You are tiny. I am a great big pe- OMG IT MOVED!!
My mom says I never finish anyth
That awkward moments when you take your phone out and pretend to text...
That awkward moment when someone who always starts drama complains that they hate drama
My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
Why is there a show called "When animals attack"? It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."
Age is just a number. Yeah, 911 is too.
Boys insult each other, but they really don`t mean it. Girls compliment each other but they don`t mean it either.
A recent study shows that people who teaches Maths have Lots of Problems
A Short Description about youself
0 comments :