Money Facebook Status
America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.
Im so broke this New Year's I'm gonna party like it's $19.99.
I've finally figured out what homeless people spend their money on. It's not clothes. It's not booze. It's not food. It's sharpies and cardboard.
Money may not buy you happiness, but it would make it a lot easier to not be miserable.
I have to take my paycheck to the bank. It's too little to go by itself.
Girlfriends are like credit cards, you can't get one unless you already have one.
can you not see the sky? thats whats up
Is walkin around the bank yelling:" ITS MY MONEY AND I NEED IT NOW"!!!!!!!
If you're denied basic rights because of your sexuality, you shouldn't have to pay taxes.
Why don't hoarders ever hoard money?
If your boyfriend gets you flowers and chocolate for Valentine's Day, it's because he was saving money to get his real girlfriend jewelry.
My bank lets me send a text message and it'll text back with my balance. It's a cool feature but I didn't think the LOL was necessary.
If I had the money I'd hire 2 private investigators to follow each other
Need money like you don't work, hurt like you've never been loved, and watch like nobody is dancing.
I want to go on the "Price is Right" just to bid $4.20 on every item.
Materialism: buying things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people that don't matter.
I have all the money I'll ever need - if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, why isn't anything in the store is free yet?
I'd rather hear 50 cent's take on the economy than Sarah Palin's. I bet he knows what economy means.
- "911, what's your emergency?" - "Quick, my dreams are dying!"
You know its time to start saving when your debit card declines a $1.25 purchase.
I always poop with the door open. But, I leave my seatbelt on so I don't fall out of the car. Safety first.
"Latte" is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
Ten bucks says Slash has no idea where he is.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
What happens in Vegas (losing your money) stays in Vegas (all your money).
It's funny how the change jar slowly becomes all pennies.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
Money talks...but all mine ever says is good-bye.
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
Money can buy imitation happiness. I'm cool with that.
I'll have a coke please . Hhmmm is Pepsi ok ? Hhmm how about no ! Is monopoly money ok ?
Forgotten pocket money is the best!!
I found a dollar the other day. It made me so happy that I had to sit down and reevaluate my life.
There's nothing worse than getting $0.99 back in change
Always hold out your hand when someone is counting money in front of you, just incase.
I miss those nights when we would stay up talking about nothing, but it meant everything.
Oprah makes $315,000,000/year = $26,000,000/month = $6,000,000/week = $850,000/day = $35,000/hour = $600/minute = $10/second
We need a new "that's what she said"
Waldo probably hides because he's behind on his child support payments.
To make a lot of money is my one goal in life. Turns out my laziness and lack of ambition is a really good goalie.
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.
I’ve always wanted to be one of those people who laughs all the way to the bank, instead of one who cries every time he leaves.
Money doesn't buy happiness but it's a damn good down payment!
One day I want to be "Let's Just Take My Helicopter" rich.
A Short Description about youself
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