Free Silly Facebook Status
Tequila Is The Next Tylenol!
I can already hear the birds judging me for sleeping till noon tomorrow.
How come when I wake myself up from talking in my sleep, I feel it's necessary to finish the conversation out loud?
"if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends".... if only all girls thought like the spice girls lol nap.
They should call the lobby of any IRS office "Formville."
The lesbians next door to me ask me what i want for my birthday.....i think they misunderstood me when i said i wanna watch!!!
Maybe some of you girls should eat make-up so you can be pretty on the inside
try to say the letter `M` without your lips touching.
Don't look now, but I'm hiding under your bed.
Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!
Of all the things I have lost, its my mind I miss the most.
Sometimes I think life is one big test and I'm in the wrong classroom.
So I’ve narrowed it down and I’m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
The leading cause of death in mice is Scientists.
FUN FACT: All kitties share a common ancestor, whose name was “Snickerboots Fancybasket.”
I'm going to open a restaurant and call it I Don't Care.....so us men can finally take you women to the place you want to go to when we ask
Sometimes I don’t even know when I’m being sarcastic.
That awkward moment when you try to get a good stretch in and you accidently punch them in their face.
Dear Thursday, Move out of the freaking way. Sincerely Friday
Just once I want to see a marathon winner cross the finish line and immediately fire up a cigarette
A Short Description about youself
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