no men no women no women no love no love no sex no sex no children no children no school no school no homework no homework no problems!
Everything in life is relative, ask Einstein.
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Why does a nun never wears a bra ? ............ God supports everything...
If a pen is mightier than a sword and a photo more powerful than a thousand words, how dangerous –can a fax be ?
What happens when you got scared twice half-dead ?
When a schizophrenic threatens to commit suicide are we talking of hostageship?
What is the velocity of the darkness ?
Why do fortune-tellers first ask your name?
How do you know when you run out of invisible ink ?
When you strangle a smurf, what colour does he get ?
Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have a phone!
What happens when the earth turn 30 times faster?...You get your salary every day and all women bleed dead!!!
when is a man worth some money??................When he pushes a trolley
Why did the statue of liberty have to be a woman?The head had to be hollow to make a restaurant in it!
Why is a false eye made of glass?.....To look through.
Why does beer contain female hormones ? ... When you drink too much of it, you cannot say anything sensible any more, you start to nag and you are no longer able to drive a car.
How is an intelligent woman called? ....................... A transvestite
It has 50 teeth and it holds back or stops a terrible monster? ................... My fly!
When do you know you are overweight? .... When you are sunbathing on the beach and a Greenpeace-activist tries to roll you back into the sea.
Why did God create the man first and only afterwards the woman? .... To give him the chance to enjoy heaven on earth for just a few moments.
Why are men like sperm cells? ...... Only one out of a million is useful.
Why are men happy when they finish a puzzle in two months time..... Because the box says : 3 till 5 years.
Why can a man not be handsome and intelligent at the same time? .... Because he would be a woman then.
Why are men like a toothbrush? .... They are useless without handle.
What is the difference between a woman and a fridge? a fridge does not moan when there is meat inside
It is round and orange and says:"I am an orange, I am an orange"? .................. a mandarin who thinks big
What is the difference between a washing machine and a teacher? a washing machine runs on batteries and a teacher gets on the nerves.
What is the difference between a battery and a woman? ...... A battery has also a positive side.
why do have men bandy legs? ......... all unimportant matters are between brackets
How does a dummy catch a rabbit? ... He sits behind a tree and imitates the sound of a carrot.
Why does a stupid blond girl never swim on her belly? ... When she feels something wet she turn on her back.
It is white and it stands in the corner? ....... A punished fridge
What is ressemblance between a man and a dolphin? They both seem intelligent, but it has not been proven yet!!!
Why did God create the man first and only then the woman? ...... Everyone makes a draft first!!!
Why do men exist ? Because dildos cannot mow the lawn.
Why do women not have a penis ? ......... That comes together with the brains.
Why do women have legs ? ...... Otherwise there will be traces of mucus on the kitchen floor.
Why the trolleys were invented ? ........ To learn women to walk on their hind legs.
What do you do when your mother-in-law is walking in the garden? ...... Shoot again.
Why does one do some peanut butter on his condom? ...... That makes him big and strong.
Why do the number of traffic accidents with stupid blond girls increase at April 1st? ..... When the traffic light is read they think it is a joke
If my right leg was thanksgiving and my left leg was christmas, would you visit me between the holidays?
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and suddenly I realized that I was talking to myself.
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
How do frogs die ? They Ker-mit suicide.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.
How women think about sex:At 8 ignore it,Age 18 experience it,Age 28 look 4 it,Age 38 ask 4 it,Age 48 beg 4 it,Age 58 pay 4 it,Age 68 pray it,Age 78 4get it
If all the boys lived on the other side of the sea, what a good swimmer I would be ?
What kind of children do you get using a yellow condom ? ................... NONE ! you stupid !
A Short Description about youself
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