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Mama SMS Jokes

Yo Grannies got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book.

You got no arms, no legs, and when you go swimming they call you Bob

Yo Wife got more weave than a dog in rush hour traffic.

Yo Girlfriend got an ElectroWig - including sunroof and Opera lights

Yo Big brother got a wooden nipple and they call him Corky.

Yo Priest got ears so big he gets satellite reception.

Your Mom so fat she uses a bed mattress for a maxipad

Yo wife so fat she got more nooks and Crannies than a Ploughman's pastry

Yo Sister so fat she got a new job DJ'ing for the Ice Cream Van.

Yo Momma so fat all chairs in the house have their own seatbelts.

Yo Dog so fat that when you take it 'walkies' it don't know whether it walking or rolling

Your Mommas so fat, when it says All you can eat it still ain't enough.

Yo Air hostess so fat that on a scale of 1 to 10 she a 747.

Your boyfriend so fat he hasn't seen his feet for 10 years

Yo Bro so fat that when he farted, Mars came out...and I ain't talkin bout the

Yo' Astronomer so fat she plays pool with Venus....and Neptune...and pluto...and...

Yo Moma...

has 10 fingers -- all on the same hand.

has green hair and thinks she's a Tree.

has a peanut butter wig with jelly sideburns.

has wooden boobs and breast feeds beavers

has one short leg and that why she always walking in circles...

Anything Yo's

Your kid bro got more crust round his mouth than a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Yo Milkman's teeth so damn yellow I can't believe it's not butter

Your Wife getting so old she startin to fart out Mummy dust

has a major weight problem - she can't wait...to eat.

got a house that's so dusty, the Cockroaches drive around in Dune Buggies

got a glass eye with a fish in it.

got so much hair on her upper lip she has to braid it

got so much dandruff that a Midgie landed on her head and said: "Christ, I aint' seen this much snow in years."

got so much hair on her chest that her Breasts remind me of Coconuts...

is a carpenter's dream - flat as a board and so easy to nail...

Yo Mother in law so yellow you'd think she'd been blowing the Simpsons

Yo' Nana's teeth so damb black you'd think she had coal for her dinner

Yo Grannie had more men than the grand old duke of york...and then some...

Your Auntie got one leg...and folk call her Eileen

Yo mama's got a wooden leg with branches. Yo' baby sister got more mouth than Julia Roberts

Yo' Boy next door got an Afro with a turn signal in it.

Yo Doc' got 1 wooden leg with a real foot.

You geeky Star Wars girlfriend got more bum fur than an Ewok.

Yo Mommy got so many gaps in her teeth it reminds me of Piano keys

Yo Best Friend only got two fingers and she's a representative for world peace.

Yo' humor webmaster so desperate for money he got a wooden leg with advertisements stapled to it.

You Computer Geek friend got one tooth and they call him Chomping-at-the-Bits

Yo kid sister got so many rings round her belly that she gotta screw her underware on

Yo cousin got 3 teeth ... one in her mouth and two in her pocket.

Yo PE teacher has one arm and swims round in circles

Yo Dentist got Summer teeth...summer in his mouth....summer in his trouser pockets...

You Wife got more crack than harlem

Your Dentist made yo teeth so crooked you use them to cut chain at the DIY store.

You Nana so fat that when she went for a swim in the ocean she caused a 60 foot tidal wave.

Yo Music teacher so freakin Fat that she whistles Bass

Yo Postman so fat he got his very own Post Code

You cousin so fat she's on Both sides of the family.

Yo Girlfriend so fat I ask her to go get a Curry and she bring back 80 pounds of gravy.

Yo kid brother so fat he sat on 4 quarters and made a dollar.

Your Kid Sister so fat the Japanese Sumo Wrestling squad had to turn her down.

Yo Star Trek fan so fat he make Riker's beer belly look 2 atoms thick

Yo Lawyer's so fat...we're inside her right now.

Yo' Baker so freakin fat he masturbates when reading cookbooks

Yo Auntie so fat that Weight Watchers threw her out for breaking the scales.

Yo Boss so fat that when she calls a board meeting she has to pull herself up a Sofa.


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