Be nice to you sibling. They are your best link to your past.
Understand that friends come and go. But you should hold on to a precious few.
Don't expect anyone else to support you at any point.
A person in front of whom you dare to be yourself is you trues friend.
Never express to the world what you can do. Show the world by doing it.
See that you are needed to atleast one person in life.
It is better for us to feel bad rather than to make others feel bad.
What you don't like happening to yourself, don't do it to others.
Miracles do occur, but one has to work hard for them to happen.
Show appreciation of the smallest services by your loved ones and employees.
Dream as if you will live forever. Live as if you will die today.
Be prepared and some day your chance will come.
Watch the sun rise atleast once a year.
Be there when people need you.
When I hear someone say "life is heard" I am tempted to ask "compared to what"-Sydney J Harris.
If you are too careful, you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble upon something-Gertrude Stein.
A hero is no braver than a ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer-R W Emerson.
Never fear shadows. They simply mean there is some light near by.
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Shoot for the moon... cause even if you miss you will end up in the stars-Les Brown.
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
I'm so unlucky that if I was to fall into a barrel of nipples I'd come out sucking my thumb.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Death is the greatest kick of all. That's why they save it for last!
Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep. Im not half as thunk as u drink. I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get
How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated?
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
You!... Off my planet!
If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.
The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
Mobile phones are the only things in live of which men talk about having the smallest.
What is similar to a woman's period?
Ur salary - coz it comes once a month, last about 5 to 6 day and if it doesn't come it means u r in deep trouble.
Do u ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than u is an idiot and everyone driving faster than u is a maniac?
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks
If I told you that you remind me of my mom, would you tuck me in bed tonight?
I'm sweet like sugar, soft like suede, but unlike Nintendo, I never get played.
Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.
"At school we had a name for guys who were 'trying to get in touch with themselves'."
"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."
"Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus."
"We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like."
"It's not the people who are in prison that worry me. It's the people who aren't."
"Mr Anaesthetist, if the patient can stay awake, surely you can."
"There's no bigger fan of the opposite sex than me, and I have the bills to prove it."
A Short Description about youself
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