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Cute Facebook Status


Whenever i can`t find something,it just magically appears when my mom looks!

When life gives u lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate!

I didn`t fall... I attacked the floor.

"You just..." "No, I didn`t." But, you..." "Nope." "But I saw..." "You saw nothing."

Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together.

Texting a person in the same room as me, then staring at them until they get it

If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, i`d never be bored again. (:

we all have that bestfriend who we greet with an insult.:)

Everything`s funnier when you`re not allowed to laugh.

Money cant buy happiness . . . but somehow, its more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle.

Don`t bother putting your hand over my mouth to shut me up... I will lick you.

You hate drama? Cool. Stop starting it.

Pretending to die in front of your pet, just to see how they would react.

Why do we need algebra? Finding X is only useful if you`re a pirate.

I am thinking ...I AM STILL THINKING why the hell Im thinking anyways its not my cup of tea

My alarm clock is jealous of the relationship I have with my bed :)

It is really hard to wait for the right person in life. Especially when The wrong ones are damn attractive!

The worst thing about sunday is knowing tomorrow is monday :(

When i was little i used to fall asleep on the sofa and wake up in bed, now I pass out on the sofa and wake up on the floor!

I am a ninja.. No you`re not.. Did you just see me do that? Do what? ... Exactly.

Wishing your dog could talk.. Then thinking about the things you did in front of him.

Passing gum in school like its a drug deal.

Stupid people are awesome, they make life interesting.. :)

Watching A Horror Movie.. *** 2 hours later... ``Dude, Walk Me To The Bathroom..`

"Yes mum, I`ve cleaned my room" "No mum, you can`t have a look".

Meowing back at a cat when it meows at you.

One spelling mistake can destroy your life. A Husband sent this to his wife: I`m having a wonderful time wish you were her.

A chicken crossed the road and met James Bond, `What`s your name?` asked the chicken, `Bond, James Bond. Whats yours?`, `Ken, Chick Ken.`

I wanted to send you something sexy but the mailman told me to get out of the postbox.

Just remember... if the world didn`t suck, we`d all fall off.

Girl: Mummy? Mum: Yes Dear.. Girl: Is santa Chinese? Mum: emm...no dear...why? Girl: because my doll says made in china!

"Hey can i have a sip?" "Sure." * GLUG GLUG GLUG.* "Dude, what the hell?"

All my life, I`ve been saying duck tape, not duct tape.

Panicking when your finger gets stuck in something stupid.

LIKE IF: when you`re having a drink, and the ice cubes suddenly attacks your face

Yelling "run forest, run!" when you see someone running.

There`s always that one person that catches you doing something weird.

I Am not lazy, I`m just highly motivated not to do anything.

I`m not single, I`m just romantically challenged.

Truth or Dare? Dare.. No I`m not doing that.


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